Post by RS on Dec 5, 2013 18:44:20 GMT
There was an interesting story recently regarding a lady who did not receive an diagnoses of Asperger syndrome until she was 45.
When I was in my early twenties I left home and got my own flat, which was my dream. I had a job as a lab technician, and rarely went out socialising. I first became unwell with my nerves when I was about thirty. It was caused by bullying at work.
regularly experienced paranoia until I left that job. I was in hospital with depression for a while. I’d had a good salary, but afterwards I worked on a minimum wage and went from one job to another until I was forty-four. The last job was in a clinical hospital lab. The bully of the lab honed in on me when her previous victim left. My mental health is still very poor.
My sleep pattern is very erratic which doesn't help. Relaxation therapies make sense, like yoga and meditation for helping to calm the mind and my racing thoughts. I sometimes try to meditate, and would like to do so more often.
The loss of my mum had a devastating effect on me. My mum would often phone me up and was interested in what I was doing and how I was. Since I lost her, I feel like I'm bobbing about on my own in the middle of an ocean. It probably sounds weird, but at times it’s as if I'm watching the world and not totally a part of it. I am now the main carer of my father. I don’t find the practical things too difficult, but the areas which involve communication don’t come easily to me and cause me to become stressed very quickly. People who knew my mum now come and chat to my dad, but as he says very little the responsibility for conversing falls upon me. Women are expected to be able to chat, but I have no idea of what to talk to them about. So when people greet me I have to try to act like a neurotypical and be all friendly and chatty. Over time, I have become really quite good at ‘small talk’ and feel reasonably comfortable as long as I know it is for a limited length of time.
One thing which is helping me to cope is being in touch with others who have elderly parents that they care for. I have two friends who have Asperger syndrome and are in a similar position. Just being able to talk to people who understand is great.
I have enjoyed living on my own, although it didn't turn out as I had hoped. I never had friends over to my flat or small get together's and now I am quite fearful of people coming to visit me. I never met a boyfriend either but I have now accepted that I will always be single and am happy living on my own. I find it’s more important than ever to have my home as a place of sanctuary. I need to have things around me which make me feel calm and happy. In my flat I can be totally myself and not worry about others. I think this is especially important the older you get. When the door buzzer goes, I ignore it when I want to. The same goes for my telephone. If I don’t feel like answering, I leave it. Email suits me just fine as it’s not an intrusion into my peace and I can reply to an email when I feel like it.
My hobbies and my pet budgies have really helped me to cope with life and getting older. I think pets keep you grounded when things get really difficult as they are a constant and continue to chirp and sing no matter what. They give me a sense of normality at times when everything going on feels like chaos. I love being creative with my arts and crafts too and this really helps lift my mind from worries. I also go out and sit in coffee shops. I think that's my favorite thing to do and it makes me feel good. I like the way it's okay nowadays for people to just sit in a coffee shop by themselves. There's something nice about feeling you're part of the world, but not feeling the stress of having to constantly communicate.
When I was in my early twenties I left home and got my own flat, which was my dream. I had a job as a lab technician, and rarely went out socialising. I first became unwell with my nerves when I was about thirty. It was caused by bullying at work.
regularly experienced paranoia until I left that job. I was in hospital with depression for a while. I’d had a good salary, but afterwards I worked on a minimum wage and went from one job to another until I was forty-four. The last job was in a clinical hospital lab. The bully of the lab honed in on me when her previous victim left. My mental health is still very poor.
My sleep pattern is very erratic which doesn't help. Relaxation therapies make sense, like yoga and meditation for helping to calm the mind and my racing thoughts. I sometimes try to meditate, and would like to do so more often.
The loss of my mum had a devastating effect on me. My mum would often phone me up and was interested in what I was doing and how I was. Since I lost her, I feel like I'm bobbing about on my own in the middle of an ocean. It probably sounds weird, but at times it’s as if I'm watching the world and not totally a part of it. I am now the main carer of my father. I don’t find the practical things too difficult, but the areas which involve communication don’t come easily to me and cause me to become stressed very quickly. People who knew my mum now come and chat to my dad, but as he says very little the responsibility for conversing falls upon me. Women are expected to be able to chat, but I have no idea of what to talk to them about. So when people greet me I have to try to act like a neurotypical and be all friendly and chatty. Over time, I have become really quite good at ‘small talk’ and feel reasonably comfortable as long as I know it is for a limited length of time.
One thing which is helping me to cope is being in touch with others who have elderly parents that they care for. I have two friends who have Asperger syndrome and are in a similar position. Just being able to talk to people who understand is great.
I have enjoyed living on my own, although it didn't turn out as I had hoped. I never had friends over to my flat or small get together's and now I am quite fearful of people coming to visit me. I never met a boyfriend either but I have now accepted that I will always be single and am happy living on my own. I find it’s more important than ever to have my home as a place of sanctuary. I need to have things around me which make me feel calm and happy. In my flat I can be totally myself and not worry about others. I think this is especially important the older you get. When the door buzzer goes, I ignore it when I want to. The same goes for my telephone. If I don’t feel like answering, I leave it. Email suits me just fine as it’s not an intrusion into my peace and I can reply to an email when I feel like it.
My hobbies and my pet budgies have really helped me to cope with life and getting older. I think pets keep you grounded when things get really difficult as they are a constant and continue to chirp and sing no matter what. They give me a sense of normality at times when everything going on feels like chaos. I love being creative with my arts and crafts too and this really helps lift my mind from worries. I also go out and sit in coffee shops. I think that's my favorite thing to do and it makes me feel good. I like the way it's okay nowadays for people to just sit in a coffee shop by themselves. There's something nice about feeling you're part of the world, but not feeling the stress of having to constantly communicate.